Unrequited Love Chapter 4

Renji opened his eyes slightly, letting in the little light that came in through the cracks of the closet door. Because of their current situation, with Renji being forced to stay with Ichigo, he slept in the closet so the family wouldn't find him. He sat up, being careful not to re-open his wounds.

“What time is it...?” he mumbled.

He took his cellphone from where it hung on the wall and flipped it open with a snap. Seven-Thirty. Ichigo would already be up. He pushed the closet door the the side, having it slide back and revel the room illuminated by the morning sun.

“Hey, Ichigo. Are you- huh?”

He stopped when he realized he didn't see Ichigo as he expected, already dressed in his school uniform and getting ready to leave for school. Instead, Ichigo still lay sleeping, sprawled out on his bed in his boxers and sleeveless undershirt, partially covered by the thin bed sheets he slept with.

“Fool! Your gonna be late for school...!” Renji grumbled. He jumped out of the closet and started to step toured Ichigo. “Why should I have too...”

Renji's voice trailed off as he stared at Ichigo. The sun coming in through the window next to Ichigo's bed, illuminated his face into an angelic state. He looked peaceful dreaming. He turned on his side grabbing the covers and pulling them over him. Renji's heart skipped a beat as he watched Ichigo sleep. He felt his chest tighten again, hurting more than ever this time. He gulped, taking a small step forward, wondering weather to continue or not.

He knelled down next to Ichigo's bed, now staring at Ichigo more closely. He reached out and touched his face, feeling his warm skin.

This isn't a dream...

Ichigo's words pierced through him, wrenching his heart.

“I love you...”

Renji gulped again, feeling his face turn red. Ichigo sighed in his sleep, tickling Renji with his breath. Renji shivered. He reached out and brushed the hair out of Ichigo's eyes. He touched his cheek and caressed his chin.

I need to let it go... just let it go...

Renji leaned a little closer to Ichigo, feeling his hair brush against his forehead.

I know I need to let go, but... Renji sighed. Just this once... Just this will have to be enough...

He leaned down and closed his eyes. Renji and Ichigo's lips brushed up against each other softly. Renji was about to kiss Ichigo when there was a loud and fast rap on the door.

Renji jumped, leaping away from Ichigo and jumping to his feet.

“Ichigo! Come on! Are you up yet?” Yuzu, Ichigo's younger sister called. Ichigo started to stir at her words.

Renji panicked and rushed for the closet door, sliding it open quickly and slipping inside, pretending to be sleeping. There were more calls and raps until Ichigo sat up groggily. He scratched his head and pulled the sheets off.

“Ichigo!” Yuzu shouted.

“Yeah, yeah! I'm up! Just go away!” He responded. He stood up and stretched, yawning loudly. He looked at his clock and growled.

“Renji...!” He muttered. “You good for nothing!” He said louder, picking up his school uniform. He got dressed, grumbling and muttering empty threats to Renji. It was a few moments later until he was completely dressed and picking up his book bag to leave. He glanced at the closet door, stepping toured it.

He put his hand on the closet door and slid it open slightly.

Renji lay as still as possible, trying to be most convincing. He grumbled, making it look like he was turning in his sleep. Ichigo stared at him for a moment, not saying anything. Renji wondered what was going on.

Has he left yet and I didn't hear him? No. I can still feel his reiatsu. So then why does he stay? Ichigo leaned down a bit, close enough for Renji to hear him. He sighed and his face saddened.

“I'll see you latter.”

Ichigo backed up and shut the closet door softly. Renji heard his foot steps and then the click of the door knob turning and opening. His foot steps started to fade.

Renji opened his eyes and blinked. He flipped over onto his back and put his hand on his head.

“What was that all about...?” He muttered. He winced when there was a sharp pain in his stomach. He immediately moved his hand to it, remembering what Unohana said.

“Damn it. All this excitement made me move around too much!” He growled.

Sitting up slowly, he reached out for the closet door, opening it. He crawled out and made his way to the door, locking it. He sighed and sat on Ichigo's bed.

“That guy...” Renji muttered. “I don't get him at all! Whats his problem?”

Renji stood and picked up his cloths. He started slipping into them, thinking about what Ichigo had said before he left. Renji realized there was a hint of sadness in his voice and that made him think back to the dream he had before. It pained him to imagine Ichigo in such a state.

“Was he sad when he spoke?” Renji asked himself while sitting back down. “Why would he? He's been so strange lately...” He thought about what he had just said then scoffed. “Like I have any room to talk.” He mumbled. “I haven't necessarily been myself ether lately.” He smiled sadly then touched his lips.

What was I thinking...? I mean, I almost... He bit his lip, drawing blood.

“It seems I can't control my emotions after all...” He muttered. “A Shinigami shouldn't have feelings for the human world. Friendship, Love, Compassion... All these things are useless emotions that only get in the way of a job.” Renji reminded himself. “But even knowing that...I still...” He sighed and hung his head.

I still want to see Ichigo...

-/-/-/-

Renji was walking down the street when his phone suddenly went off, alerting him of a nearby hollow. He pulled it out of the front pocket of his vest and flipped it open. A hollow was defedantly nearby but this time there were more of them and they were the same as before, giant hollows. Renji quickly ran in the direction the signal lead as he tried to call Rukia's phone.

There were several rings before there was an answer.

“Hello?!” Renji shouted into the phone. “Rukia! Hello?!”

“Renji! Where are you?”

Renji recognized the voice as Rukia's and answered back.

“I got the signal! I'm heading over there now! Are you with Ichigo?”

“No! I went to look for you!”

Renji almost dropped the phone he was so shocked. He stopped and froze, thinking of Ichigo fighting all those hollows by himself. His chest tightened and his throat dried.

“H-Hes alone?!” Renji managed to shout back at her through the telephone. “You left him there all by himself with those hollows?! What if he gets killed?!” Renji shouted furiously.

“He insisted on me going to find you! The more time you spend arguing with me, the longer Ichigo is stuck there! Now shut up and listen!! Ichigo doesn't wan-”

Renji hung up the phone. He didn't want to hear anymore. Renji stood still for a moment, realizing what Rukia had said was true.

Ichigo needs me more then ever now... I can't do anything by just standing here! I have to help him!

Renji started running again now faster then ever. He could only think of Ichigo and the horrible situation he was in. According to the signal, Ichigo was in an abandoned parking lot.

“He must have moved the fight so no one would get hurt.” Renji thought out loud to himself. “Damn it. Just don't die Ichigo.”

Renji ran until he finally reached his destination. There were three giant hollows. Compared to the hollows, Ichigo looked like an ant. Renji ran to where Ichigo stood. He was breathing heavily, holding Zangetsu out in front of him in a defensive position. He was bleeding above his left eye and his shoulder was sliced.

“Ichigo!” Renji shouted.

“You idiot! Didn't you listen to Rukia?!” Ichigo shouted keeping his gaze on the hollows. Renji was confused. He came to help Ichigo so why was he acting so strange?

“W-What are you talking about?! I came to help you!”

“I don't need your help!” Ichigo shouted back. “What makes you think you can fight? Your still injured, right?” Ichigo shifted his eyes to Renji as he spoke. “Get out of here while you still can!”

As soon after he spoke, one of the giant hollows slashed at Ichigo but he moved out of the way in time. Renji searched his pockets for the mod Konpaku he had brought along. “Where the hell...” Renji grumbled.

Ichigo blocked another attack by a hollow, pushing back its massive claws with his blade.

“What are you still doing here?!” Ichigo shouted to Renji. “Get out of here!” He jumped out of the way of an attack only to have it barely miss him.

“No! I came here to help you!”

“I don't need your help!” Ichigo turned his back to the hollows for a moment to shout at Renji, when all the sudden, one of the hollows raised it's hand to strike.

“Ichigo!” Renji shouted. Ichigo turned as the hollow was readying to strike. Renji quickly popped out of his body, feeling the pain in his stomach shock his whole body. He winced but ignored it as best as he could. He jumped above Ichigo, drawing his sword and blocking the attack.

The hollow was persistent. It pushed at Renji's blade with its claws letting out an ear piercing roar. Renji fell to the ground, managing to push the hand away.

“Renji!” Ichigo shouted as he ran to him. “You idiot! What did I tell you?!”

Renji winced as he struggled to sit up. “I-I'm fine.” he muttered. Ichigo reached out and put his arm around him to help him up.

“Just leave me alone! I can fight on my own!” Renji pushed Ichigo off of him and got up slowly.

“You can't be serious! You've been moving around way too much! Your bleeding like crazy!”

Renji looked down and put a hand to his stomach, feeling the warm liquid. Blood was seeping through his Shihakusho, gushing out, staining the ground red. He took his hand back up and looked at it. It was soaked in blood, dripping.

“This is nothing.” He muttered. “I can still fight!” He raised Zambimaru high above his head, calling his name. “I'm taking you down! You stupid hollows!!”

He jumped in the air, ready to strike.

“No! Stop you Idiot!”

Renji sliced at the hollows, sending Zambimaru dividing and flying forward. He hit one it the side of the face but couldn't manage to cut it all the way through. The hit hollow let out a tremendous roar and knocked Zambimaru away.

Renji landed on his feet and readied for another strike. He was breaking into a sweat and breathing heavily. Ichigo ran to his side.

“You have to stop! You can kill yourself!” Ichigo shouted putting his hand on Renji's shoulder. Renji ignored him and kept his gazed fixed on the hollows.

I know... I'm sorry Ichigo but...

Ichigo started to shake Renji softly. “Are you listening to me?!” Ichigo shouted, jumping in front of Renji and shaking him harder, both hands on his shoulders. “You'll die! DIE!” Ichigo stopped and looked into Renji's face. Renji smiled slightly and put his hand on Ichigo's shoulder, pushing him aside gently. He turned his head to look at Ichigo who's once angry face was now filled with worry and stress.

“Sorry...”

Without waiting for Ichigo to respond he jumped in the air and began his attack. He swung again, this time piercing the hollow's mask and having it disintegrate right before his eyes. He waisted no time when landing and had all ready left the ground as soon as he had touched it.

His next attack was redirected at one of the hollow's arms. Renji felt the sharp pain in his stomach act up more then ever. He winced and grabbed his stomach. His attack was suspended in mid air and he took a hit from the hollow, being sent hurling to the ground.

Renji felt the impact of the cold hard concrete slam up against his body. He gaged and coughed up a large amount of blood. Pain shocked his whole body as he struggled to get up. Ichigo ran to him again, leaning down and turning him over carefully.

“Renji! Renji!!” He shouted. Renji groaned and stuck his sword in the ground, using it to steady himself up.

“I'm fine...” Renji coughed. “Just leave me alone.”

He stood wearily, leaning on his sword for support. Ichigo stared at his beaten and battered form. He reached out a hand and touched his shoulder.

“Renji...” He muttered. “Please... Just let me fight now...”

Renji was shocked by Ichigo's response. He expected him to yell at him again but instead his voice was soft and sorrowful. Renji looked into Ichigo's face. His eyes were saddened and glistening like he was going to cry. Even with the blood smeared on his face, Renji could tell how hurt Ichigo was.

Renji sighed and bowed his head. “Okay.”

Ichigo didn't respond.

Renji felt his hand leave his shoulder and Ichigo dash in front of him. He felt his eyes grow heavy and his vision began to blur. He tilted his head up, just in time to see Ichigo driving his Zampaku-to into the side of hollow.

His head began to nod and pounded more then ever.

“Ichigo...” He grumbled even though he knew Ichigo couldn't hear him. “I'm... I'm sorry...”

He then felt the grip on his sword loosen and all his weight fall forward. He slouched for a moment until slowly falling to the ground and blacking out.

-/-/-/-

Renji woke to find him self laying on his back in a soft bed. He had awaken but found he was reluctant to open his eyes or even stir. The comfort of feeling the soft material of the blankets rest softly on his skin was too great. Warmth seemed to wrap him in a warm embrace, one he wasn't going to let go of. In short, he was comfortably numb.

The room illuminated with the white light that peaked through the blinds and scatters on the bed where he lay. He was still for a moment, letting his memories slowly seep back into him.

Ichigo...

Even in his mind his voice was soft and broken.

Ichigo...He was fighting...for me...

Renji felt something brush against his chin. His comfortable numbness began to fade. It was soft and tickled. He cracked his eyes open slightly and grumbled a bit. The fragrance of strawberry filled his nostrils as he was surprised to be met with the sight of Light orange hair resting soundly on his chest.

“W...What?” Renji grumbled.

He recognized the sleeping form as none other than Ichigo. It looked as if he fell asleep in a chair and in his sleep, hunched over, resting on the now astonished Renji. Half of Ichigo's self still rested in the chair while his head and arms rested over Renji's body. Only the back of Ichigo's head was visible to Him and it was probably a good thing. Renji thought, if he had seen his face, he might not be able to control himself.

His heart started to beat faster and his chest tightened. There was a lump in his throat which he quickly tried to swallow back down. The motion his chest made from swallowing made Ichigo stir and he grumbled.

“Renji...”

Ichigo muttered, wrapping his arm around Renji. He nuzzled Renji's chest then picked it up and rested it again, moving into a more comfortable position.

Renji's body froze. He felt like his heart was gonna leap out of his chest.

Wha...What should I do? Ichigo is...

Renji's thoughts went unfinished and were soon in a mixed up mess. He felt he should wake Ichigo up but couldn't bring himself to.

“Ichigo...!” He tried to call, hoping he would wake up. He lifted a shaky arm and rested it across Ichigo, trying to shake him awake. He only seemed to nudge him though, not summoning up the strength to push him off.

“I-Ichigo!” He raised his voice slightly this time, hoping the calls and nudges would do it. He paused for a moment and studied his surroundings. It was several moments until he realized where he was. He was back in Ichigo's room, laying bandaged in his bed.

“How did I-?” Renji's voice was cut off by more mumbles from Ichigo.

Renji remembered his current situation and returned to trying to shake Ichigo awake. “Ichigo! Come on! Wake up!” He pushed Ichigo harder this time, feeling the strength in his arms returning. “Ichigo!”

Ichigo's eyes opened slowly. He grumbled and began to lift his head. “Why's my bed so hard?” He said, putting a hand to his head and wiping his eyes.

“Ichigo...”

Ichigo was surprised to hear his name be called. He flipped his head around instantly. Renji was staring at him with a flustered look on his face.

“R-Renji...!” Ichigo said as his eyes grew wide with surprise. “Your awake! You've been out for two days.”

“T-Two days?!” Renji exclaimed. “What day is it? Wheres Rukia? Are you hurt?” Renji sat up abruptly ignoring the pain in head.

“I-Its Sunday.” Ichigo studered, surprised by Renji's sudden out burst. “Rukia is spending the day with Orihime and No... I'm just fine.”

Renji was relived by the last bit of Ichigo's news. “Thank goodness...”

“Wow Renji I never knew you cared about me so much.” Ichigo mocked.

“W-What?! Don't get any ideas Kurosaki! I could care less if you died!”

“Yeah right. If I was gone you'd miss me terribly and you know it!”

Renji realized that what Ichigo said was true.

If Ichigo died... I...I don't know what I'd do with myself...

They sat in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Renji wanted so badly to speak out but couldn't find his voice. Ichigo hung his head and sighed.

“Is that... Is that really how you feel Renji? If I died...would you... just not care?”

Renji was shocked by Ichigo's words. “Not care...?” He echoed. “Ichigo...I...” Renji couldn't find the words to say. He felt his chest tighten again and his head pound.

If Ichigo died... No. Thats not how I feel Ichigo...

“I... I couldn't possibly feel that way.” Renji told him. “If you died I'd be devastated. It would be so hard for me. I...I don't know what I'd do...” Renji said sadly. “Because... Because I...” Renji's voice began to trail off.

Ichigo looked up at him with an array of emotions in his eyes. Curiosity, surprise, worry, longing...

Renji kept his chin down and his face shrouded in shadow. His hand was curled into a fist and began to shake.

“Renji...”

“Y-You see Ichigo... I um...I sort of...” Renji felt his heart beat faster with each word he tried to speak. “It may seem kinda strange but... I...really...really...lo-”

“Oi! Ichigo! Open up! Lunch time!” Ichigo's father shouted through the door.

“T-Thanks dad! I'm coming!” Ichigo replied. Renji began to panic and try to bolt for the closet door. “No! Its okay!” Ichigo assured him. “They know your here... my family that is...”

Renji was shocked by what Ichigo had to say. “They...know?”

“Well you see... they think your a friend from school who got beaten pretty bad. I told them you don't have anywhere else to go so they agreed to let you stay till you recovered. Lucky for you my dads a doctor and sewed you back up.”

Renji listened as Ichigo stood up and threw him some cloths. “ You must be hungry.” Ichigo smiled. Renji sat in silence for a moment and held the cloths tossed to him. “Ichigo... About what I was saying before... You see I-”

“Don't worry about it.” Ichigo said cutting him off. “If its really important you can tell me later.” Ichigo said turning his back and heading for the door. “For now, get dressed. I'll bring your food up in a few minutes.” Ichigo opened the door and shut it behind him without even looking back. There was a moment of silence before Renji sighed deeply and stood.

“Ichigo...” He muttered even though knowing Ichigo couldn't hear him.

“I wanted to say... I love you...”